Different strokes for different folks...

you don't want everyone to like you.

Author

Rob Blades
August 04, 2024

Imagine you're at a party. (one you just couldnt get out of)

You've dressed your best, practiced your charming smile.

But despite your best efforts, there’s always someone in the room who seems to be unimpressed.

Your brain is telling you…

“Why don’t they like me? What did I do wrong?”

But here’s the kicker— it isn’t all about you.

The reality is, no matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone.

People have varied backgrounds, experiences, and preferences that shape their likes and dislikes.

What you bring to the table might resonate with some but not with others.

Sometimes, when people don’t like you, it’s a reflection of their own insecurities or biases.

They might see something in you that they dislike about themselves, or they might be projecting their own issues onto you.

Trying to please everyone can lead to a loss of your authentic self.

And nobody should want that.

Nobody should get so distracted by getting others to like them, they forget who they are entirely.

That is just sad.

In our family, we have a phrase…

“No shame”

No shame in who you are.

No shame in what you do for a living,

No shame in who you are as a person.

No shame in your passions or endeavours.

Just support.

I love this analogy, maybe it is the gamer in me I dont know…

But think of yourself as a character in a video game.

You have your unique skills, strengths, and quirks.

Not every player will choose your character, but that doesn’t mean your character isn’t awesome.

It just means there are plenty of other characters to choose from, and each player has their own preference.

In Today’s 4-3-2-1:

  • 4 prompts :1 about your past, 2 about present and now, 1 about your future.

  • 3 questions to spark creativity in a world that doesn’t encourage it.

  • 2 affirmations for the week.

  • 1 tool to help with today’s topic.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”- Bernard M. Baruch

4 Journal Prompts:

  1. Reflect on a Past Experience: Write or think about a time when you felt the need to be liked by everyone. What did you do, and how did it make you feel?

    • Example: “I remember trying to fit in with a new group at work. I laughed at jokes I didn’t find funny and agreed with opinions I didn’t share. It left me feeling disconnected from myself.”

  2. Current Reflection: Consider how you respond to criticism or disapproval now. What strategies do you use to stay true to yourself?

    • Example: “Nowadays, when someone doesn’t like me, I remind myself of my strengths and values. I focus on the people who appreciate me for who I am.”

  3. Current Reflection: Identify areas in your life where you still seek approval. How can you start prioritising your own values over others’ opinions?

    • Example: “I often find myself trying to impress others or my social media followers. From now on, I’ll post content that truly resonates with me, regardless of the likes.”

  4. Future Goal: Set a goal to embrace your authentic self more fully in the coming months. What steps will you take to achieve this?

    • Example: “I will start a journal to track my personal growth and remind myself daily of my unique qualities.”

3 Questions to Unleash Creativity:

  1. What new hobby or skill can you explore that aligns with your passions, regardless of others' opinions?

    • Example: “I’ve always wanted to try painting. I’ll take a class and create art that expresses my true self.”

  2. How can you incorporate more of your authentic self into your daily interactions?

    • Example: “I will start sharing my honest opinions during meetings, rather than agreeing just to avoid conflict.”

  3. What’s one way you can celebrate your uniqueness this week?

    • Example: “I’ll host a small gathering with friends where we each share a personal story that highlights our individuality.”

2 Affirmations:

“I am enough just as I am. I do not need everyone’s approval to be confident in myself.”

“My value is not determined by others’ opinions of me. I am unique, and that’s my strength.”

1 Tool to help:

Cognitive Restructuring

Technique: Challenge and change unhelpful thoughts that make you overly concerned about others' opinions.

How to Do It: When you notice negative thoughts like "They don't like me," ask yourself for evidence of this belief. Replace it with a more balanced thought like "It's okay if some people don't like me. I still have many who do."

Stay Unapologetically You, Stay Confident, And Be Kind.

Robbo ‘The PVC Chief’ Blades